[HOMEWORK FOR PARENTS] Helping Your Children Navigate Racial Trauma

Dear Parents, Know that, as I say this, I am both empathetic and compassionate: you have a responsibility, no matter your ethnicity/ies, to guide your children through the racial trauma of our times. Even if you don’t think they could possibly know what is going on in the world, they do. They may not have the words to express it, but they feel it and they see it.

BUT HOW?

How can I help them when I am confused and traumatized myself?

Great Question!

Start by dealing with your own trauma, instead of ignoring it or stuffing it down with wine or food or streaming binges. Trust me, I’ve been doing my own stuffing, and it’s not healthy for me physically nor emotionally. So, I finally had to start dealing with it because I was so emotionally exhausted from crying after hearing every news report. Here are suggestions based on things I’ve been doing that have helped tremendously.

• Allow yourself to feel the pain and cry/scream… for like 5 minutes. Get it all out. Then stop. Set a timer, if needed.
• Keep a daily private journal about your thoughts and feelings. Just write a few sentences, or more if that’s your thing. If you don’t like pen or paper, type it into the notes feature built into your smart phone.
• Read & Pray. Have a two way dialogue with God, based on the promises He has already given you in His Holy Word. So, reading is one way to listen to Him because the Bible is his living word. Then talk back with him verbally, or by writing in your journal. [Suggestion: start by reading in the Bible App, and join one of the relevant updated Bible Studies there to guide & focus your study.]
• Engage in constructive conversations with family, friends, neighbors, and community members that you trust to be honest and open hearted. You don’t all have to agree, but you must all share truthfully and listen to one another with open hearts AND with respect. This can be in person, by phone, over zoom, or through messaging.
• Take decisive action. Join a boycott. Sign a petition. Call or write a letter to your governmental leaders and representatives. Volunteer to support a political candidate. MAKE SURE YOUR VOICE CANNOT BE IGNORED.

One notable thing about all of this is that your children will be so encouraged to start understanding their own feelings. Even young children will begin to ask you questions, and…

…you’ll be equipped to guide them into clarity because you did your own work first.

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT FOR PARENTS

There is so much more I could say on this, but I’ll stop here. I want you to digest this advice AND to actually do it. Use the contact form to reach out and let me know one thing that you saw differently or got confirmation about after reading this blog article.

RECOMMENDED READING

About Anxiety: God bless you… and don’t let anxiety kill you or hurt your family. [Cick here to read articles about dealing with anxiety in homeschool.]

About Identity, Race & Combatting Bullying: I was blessed to connect with an author who is also a social worker. She has created books for children and women around issues related to identity, race, body image, and more. View her Instagram post about her books below:

View this post on Instagram

In a world where hatred is still alive and the ability to live freely without fearing one’s life is a reality that too many face; especially Black Men and Women. As a Black Female Therapist I write material that not only sheds light on embracing individuality but celebrating my culture. Start the conversations with your youth early so that we can stop being in the company of individuals abusing power and covertly and overtly exercising hatred over our communities . Click link in bio to order or visit Amazon. #sickandtired #blacktherapistmatter #ilovebeingblack #imblackandimproud #blackauthor #blacktherapist #blackmenrock #blackgirlsrock #stopkillingus

A post shared by Bold Visions Consulting LLC TM (@visionsbold) on Jun 1, 2020 at 5:17pm PDT

[REBOOTED] Breathing New Life into Butterfly Homeschool Blog

Dear Parents / GrandParents / Guardians …

be encouraged during this very unique season in world history due to COVID19 (aka the much hated coronavirus), because…

you are not alone

…as you seek to create a healthy atmosphere for continued digital learning at home for the next month or two. I and many other homeschool veterans in communities worldwide are present online to keep you encouraged and provide helpful tips to help you get through this season day by day by day.

REASON FOR THIS “REBOOTED” HOMESCHOOL BLOG

I call this homeschool blog “rebooted” because I archived it due to all of my children being in rolled in public schools. I “thought” that I was done with homeschooling, but the coronavirus changed all of that very rapidly. I actually had a full 6 months of all of our children being out of the house at school. It was lovely, but that’s over now.

The great thing is that all of us are adjusting very quickly because we are veterans at this. AND, we are available to be a resource for other families as they make adjustments, too.

If you have specific questions, call or text me at __+1(678)861-8121__ … I will use this blog to reply with answers. Sometimes, I may even post videos via Instagram (@donnamarie234grad).

I know their GrandDaddy would be so proud of them now. (Sam Smith on left, Donna on right)

I wanted to start this reboot of our homeschool blog by sharing some vital tips that will help you gain/keep a healthy perspective. This is the first step in having successful schooling at home because YOU are the key to making that happen, or not, even if “success” for your family doesn’t look the same as it looks for us or for others.

So, my most important recommendation is that you 1st gain a healthy perspective about…

ANXIETY…

…it can easily become a silent killer of people’s health and of relationships.

Past articles I shared on how anxiety impacted us in the past  and on tips for how we overcame anxiety can be found below:

• #1 Recognize and overcome anxiety … click here
• #2 What anxiety looks like (hidden danger) … click here
• #3 How to handle anxiety effectively … click here

I am planning to also create videos, based on your questions and feedback… so please send me a connection request via Instagram (currently set to private because I share about family and friends and need to protect the young ones).

Oh, and also, for those of you with older children / youth, connect with me on IG to exchange info and encourage each other about transitioning to that stage of life. On my IG, you’ll also see my other homeschooler veteran friends and their tips/advice for parents “stuck” at home with kids due to quarantine and/or “shelter in place” orders given by state/local governments.

Until we connect, may you enjoy a peaceful weekend/spring break.

God bless you all.

Sincerely,

Donna Marie Johnson, aka @donnamarie234grad

P.S.

Our oldest two scholars are graduating with honors from public high school… and, despite all of my hopes and dreams for them, just like other families, they don’t get the chance to experience the normal senior activities of prom and walking across a commencement ceremony stage. So, we understand just how messed up things are right now. We are praying that all of the high schools and colleges worldwide figure out a way to at least celebrate graduation in person, maybe during the following end of year holidays. Again, God bless you, despite the many disappointments and inconveniences of this season.

Hidden Danger For Homeschool: Anxiety

“Whatever it takes, get anxiety out of your life because it is a destructive force and a danger to your family.” ~ Donna Marie, The Mommy @ ButterflyHomeschool.com

In previous articles here on ButterflyHomeschool.com, I shared about anxiety and how we’ve learned to cope with it better. Recently, I also shared about how I almost destroyed my family and what helped restore us.

You can find that new article on the ChristianHomeschoolMoms.com blog.

Read series of articles on this blog about anxiety to learn why I say it is a danger for your family. ~ Donna Marie Johnson

Because Spring is the traditional time of testing for most students, it can also be a very high anxiety time for homeschool families. Take a moment to read the articles I have already been sharing on this topic here on this blog and on the CHM blog. Also, please pass it on to other families.

Please leave a comment and let me know how my articles help or encourage you.

Have a wonderful Spring!

~ Donna Marie, The Mommy Butterfly

P.S. Also, there’s a private event invitation listed there on the CHM article. Make sure you check it out to get the details.