The Perfect Enemy of Healthy Parenting

Dear Parents, You are never going to be a perfect parent (of little humans or of pets). For those of you who like me, believe that Father God is our perfect Heavenly Father both for us and for our children (and pets), then you’ll find comfort in knowing that HE always finds a way to step in and perfect everything that concerns us, in spite of our imperfections as parents.

“The Lord will accomplish that which concerns me; Your [unwavering] lovingkindness, O Lord, endures forever — Do not abandon the works of Your own hands.”

Psalm 138:8 Amplified Bible (AMP)

WHO IS THE PERFECT ENEMY OF HEALTHY PARENTING?

Know that PERFECTIONISM is an evil spirit who is the perfect enemy of you as a parent and of your healthy parenting. Perfectionism is the spirit of fear with a different face that masks its true identity. The Word of God tells us that He has not given that to us. Fear/perfectionism is inflicted as a soul disease by the enemy of our souls. He wants to tear us down and make us feel inadequate so that we are disabled from any hope of healthy parenting. He wants us to parent from a place of anger and anxiety and pride so that our children get this evil spirit transferred from us to them and passed down for generations.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].

2 Timothy 1:7 AMP

I know that is not what any parents want for their children or grandchildren, yet it happens over and over again because our enemy has us deceived about fear/perfectionism.

Here is another way to think of it from the perspective of caregiving:

“You don’t have to be great at most things. Or anything, really. You just have to be good enough. And I bet you’re good enough at just about everything you need to do.”

Cori of TheCaregiverSpace.org

Perfectionism Illustrated By @VeronicaDearly Shared by Cori

From the perspective of a pet parent, I can share that my daughter said, “We broke her already, Mom, in less than a day,” as we watched our new foster dog begin to dry heave for the nth time. I could have just freaked out and gave up and taken her back to the shelter. However, I remembered what the shelter taught me in preparation for my role, and I also reached out for support. I am not expecting my experience as a pet parent to be perfect from day one, but I do expect for it to get better over time… and for us to get better for our dog over time.

My main goal in this blog article is to encourage you to ease up on your expectations of yourself during this unprecedented time in human history. Focus your attention on what you can control. Learn more as you go. Do better as you learn. That’s all anyone can realistically expect of you right now, so that’s all you can expect of yourself, too.

AND, most importantly, recognize who your enemy is and keep him from bringing his mess into your mind and your home. Choose to get rid of fear/perfectionism today. Take this seriously.

For more perspective on this, check out previous articles I’ve written about anxiety as a silent but deadly enemy in homeschool. It’s also another face of the chameleon called fear.

I care about you. Please reach out to me any time via my Instagram DM inbox.

@DonnaMarie234grad

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[IDEA LIST] UPDATED Ways to Celebrate Teens’ Achievements In Midst of Pandemic

OUR CELEBRATION:
NEAR THE END SEE OUR HOMESCHOOL - PUBLIC SCHOOL GRADUATES.

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For parents/grandparents/guardians all over the world, we have all been sorely disappointed with the ending of our young scholars’ 2020 senior years. All of the traditional milestones we experienced ourselves, and hoped for them to experience this year, have been cancelled and postponed. Some have been replaced with virtual celebrations, which, though they’re a nice concession, they’re just a concession. What’s been missed and/or lost can never fully be replaced, and you have a right to grieve that loss. BUT…

STAY GRATEFUL AND POSITIVE

For the sake of our family members, we must keep a brave face and move forward. We must choose to find the silver lining and the full half of the glass. Choosing to focus on the positive and remember what we’re grateful for (i.e., health and togetherness as a family) will pay great dividends in the end. It will help us all get through this era in world history with our health and minds in tact, and to come out wiser and happier at the end.

THE CELEBRATION IDEA LIST

So, if you feel like you’re just not creative enough to figure out how to celebrate your teen/s, here are some ideas to help get you started:

• Order a special meal from their favorite restaurant and go pick it up (or have it delivered) – we did this to celebrate Justine and Samuel’s college scholarships
• Get their favorite treat as a surprise in your next grocery order/shopping and then everyone at home hug them and congratulate them – we did this for Charity’s all A honor roll achievement
• Play cards or board games with them… get them off of their devices; remind them, especially if college-bound, that there won’t be a lot more time to spend together like this
• Feature them on your social media and let family and friends shout them out and congratulate them – one of my teens’ classmates and her mom created a whole movement to gather sponsors/mentors into a facebook group for all of the graduates at our school… and they are adopting the teens and sending them gifts, but also becoming resources for them as they move forward into college and careers.
• Use snail mail to send out an old fashioned announcement about their graduation or other achievements
• Plan a get together as soon as pandemic is over and ask guests to save the date
• Ask family and friends to drive by and honk and wave instead of coming inside, just as featured on many good news reports
• Create a wish list on Amazon or their favorite store so guests can send the gifts that your kids have chosen
• Do you have a creative way to celebrate your kids? Please leave a comment and share. (No ads nor promotions allowed.)

If you’d like to see what I’ve been sharing with family and friends about our teens, connect with me on Instagram (donnamarie234grad).

HOW ARE OUR KIDS DOING?

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering how we’ve been doing since the children transitioned into their teen years:

Our oldest, Justine, is an adult and headed to a private women’s college to study elementary education. She has consistently stayed on the honor roll throughout her academic career, and has won a full scholarship to college for all four years. She has also been a competitor and winning finalist in writing and speaking competitions where she one cash and scholarships. She has also dedicated herself to volunteering and to giving her all as a leader amongst her peers at work. She has participated in leadership organizations in the community and at school, and is well prepared to continue standing out as a strong leader as she moves forward academically and in her future teaching career.

Our middle, Samuel, is 18 months younger than his sister, and is also graduating because he skipped 6th grade in middle school. He is a Georgia Merit Scholar in the top 5% of all high school students in the state of Georgia due to both his grades and his high SAT/ACT scores. His academic giftedness, high achievements and dedication to service at school and within the community made him highly competitive for many of the top private and public colleges and universities. Several of those top schools offered him gift aid for four full years averaging at least $120k per school. He chose one of the most prestigious to attend for studying the humanities as an undergraduate scholar, for continuing as a medal-winning debater, and for preparing well for a future career focused on civic justice law.

And our youngest, Charity, who had a rough start as a kindergartner due to reading challenges, is now in middle school on the all A honor roll. She is not only fluent in the language arts, but is also now tutoring other students to help them with their reading and writing. She also joined the orchestra as a percussionist and had two performances before the pandemic shutdown started. This is her first year leaving homeschool for public school, and now she is back at home due to the pandemic. Despite being home, she is still in the top of her class and receiving rave reviews from her teacher. She is very self-motivated and has been going above and beyond to get her studies done from home. We are so proud of her growth, because there was a time where she genuinely did not like school and did not have much motivation to achieve better grades.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

“So, as you can see students of all types can be successful in their academic careers when they are homeschooled, and don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise.” ~ Donna Marie Johnson, @DonnaMarie234grad

If this is what your family chooses to do (and even if you’re just forced into it via the pandemic), stay connected with older homeschool families so you can see how their kids are doing and listen to their advice. That’s what has gotten us through all of these years, staying connected with other families in the community who choose to homeschool.

PARENTING YOUNG ADULTS

And now, as we transition to parenting young adults, we’ve also started receiving support from a friend, Vanessa Hogan-Filmore, who has children slightly older than ours. Check out her Instagram page, upcoming events, and a new recommended resource “Mothering & Daughtering” by Eliza Reynolds, which she will be using during one of her events. She is a wise and empathetic mentor to moms who are transitioning to a new stage of parenting.

CELEBRATING OUR 2020 GRADUATES

JUSTINE AND SAMUEL HAVE OFFICIALLY COMMENCED!
CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR 2020 GRADUATES!
WE ARE SO GRATEFUL TO THE LORD FOR THEM AND FOR THEIR BRIGHT FUTURES!

[REBOOTED] Breathing New Life into Butterfly Homeschool Blog

Dear Parents / GrandParents / Guardians …

be encouraged during this very unique season in world history due to COVID19 (aka the much hated coronavirus), because…

you are not alone

…as you seek to create a healthy atmosphere for continued digital learning at home for the next month or two. I and many other homeschool veterans in communities worldwide are present online to keep you encouraged and provide helpful tips to help you get through this season day by day by day.

REASON FOR THIS “REBOOTED” HOMESCHOOL BLOG

I call this homeschool blog “rebooted” because I archived it due to all of my children being in rolled in public schools. I “thought” that I was done with homeschooling, but the coronavirus changed all of that very rapidly. I actually had a full 6 months of all of our children being out of the house at school. It was lovely, but that’s over now.

The great thing is that all of us are adjusting very quickly because we are veterans at this. AND, we are available to be a resource for other families as they make adjustments, too.

If you have specific questions, call or text me at __+1(678)861-8121__ … I will use this blog to reply with answers. Sometimes, I may even post videos via Instagram (@donnamarie234grad).

I know their GrandDaddy would be so proud of them now. (Sam Smith on left, Donna on right)

I wanted to start this reboot of our homeschool blog by sharing some vital tips that will help you gain/keep a healthy perspective. This is the first step in having successful schooling at home because YOU are the key to making that happen, or not, even if “success” for your family doesn’t look the same as it looks for us or for others.

So, my most important recommendation is that you 1st gain a healthy perspective about…

ANXIETY…

…it can easily become a silent killer of people’s health and of relationships.

Past articles I shared on how anxiety impacted us in the past  and on tips for how we overcame anxiety can be found below:

• #1 Recognize and overcome anxiety … click here
• #2 What anxiety looks like (hidden danger) … click here
• #3 How to handle anxiety effectively … click here

I am planning to also create videos, based on your questions and feedback… so please send me a connection request via Instagram (currently set to private because I share about family and friends and need to protect the young ones).

Oh, and also, for those of you with older children / youth, connect with me on IG to exchange info and encourage each other about transitioning to that stage of life. On my IG, you’ll also see my other homeschooler veteran friends and their tips/advice for parents “stuck” at home with kids due to quarantine and/or “shelter in place” orders given by state/local governments.

Until we connect, may you enjoy a peaceful weekend/spring break.

God bless you all.

Sincerely,

Donna Marie Johnson, aka @donnamarie234grad

P.S.

Our oldest two scholars are graduating with honors from public high school… and, despite all of my hopes and dreams for them, just like other families, they don’t get the chance to experience the normal senior activities of prom and walking across a commencement ceremony stage. So, we understand just how messed up things are right now. We are praying that all of the high schools and colleges worldwide figure out a way to at least celebrate graduation in person, maybe during the following end of year holidays. Again, God bless you, despite the many disappointments and inconveniences of this season.